Shattered dreams

I just read that my last post was on November 1! I must have been out of the blogosphere . . . While I was out there I was awakened on night last week by an idea that suddenly (or so it seemed) flew into my head--"I should retire in December, instead of waiting until June." I decided that I should go into work and ask the Principal if he would hire me back full-time in January if I retired in December. I got really excited about the idea of getting both my annuity and my salary for five months. It would be like working two years at part-time. It sounded like a good plan. The human resources office had told me I would be able to come back right away, since I wouldn't be retiring from the Teacher Retirement. First I would need to check with the state retirement system to see how, if at all, it would affect my monthly annuity.

But, when I called the state office the next morning, my dreams were shattered. Apparently I would have to wait thirty days before going back to work, even though it was two different retirement systems. I'm not sure I could convince my Principal to do it if I had to be out a month. So, I'm back to June. I guess it was a nice dream while it lasted.

Anything for a day off!

I don't have to work tomorrow! Do you know how exciting that is? Especially since it is a school day. I don't have to go in because I am having a little "procedure" done. You know, the one that requires I not eat ALL DAY today. That's the bad part. And now I am drinking liquids like they are going out of style. However, it is scheduled for very early in the morning, so as soon as I am out of there we are going to Mimi's Cafe. Then I don't have to work the rest of the day!

There seems to be no limit to what I will do to get out of work. Next month I'm getting a gum graft--now that one won't be so pleasant. I guess I better get retired before I have them yanking out vital organs just so I can get a day off.

Close call

Whew! I thought I'd deleted this whole thing. I could see my whole retirement slipping away. Panic! Gasp! As soon as I can I'm going to save all my posts. I don't want a scare like that again.

It seems like I keep getting my information wires crossed at work lately. This has me worried for a number of reasons, but mostly because it makes me wonder if the information I think I have learned about retirement pay, etc. is correct. Especially since everyone seems skeptical when I tell them what I have found out about it. Of course I intend to double check all this with the school district and the state before I actually retire, but still it makes one a little nervous.

Ecstasy in the HEB

I spent my lunch hour today, as I do far too many lunch hours, running errands. One of my stops was the HEB to pick up a salad to take back to school to eat. All of a sudden I heard someone calling my name excitedly. It was the library assistant at one of the other schools--one that has year-round school. She was ecstatic because she was off for a week! She was very much enjoying herself. She didn't have to rush through the store like I did. She could get into the zen of the whole HEB experience, and I am sure everything else she did today. It was like getting a picture of just how joyful my life will be when I no longer have to go to a job forty hours a week!

Enlighten me--please!

I went to a Buddhist meditation this morning. She talked about emptying our minds so we can understand our interdependence with others. In this way we can become more accepting of others and ourselves and not be so distracted when they piss us off. Well, I guess what she was really saying was that if we can really achieve this emptiness, we won't really get upset and pissed off anymore. And I was thinking, I was getting this information a week too late. I could have really used it last week at work when I had to spend three days on my feet administering a test, while there were others who didn’t have to do any of it! If I'd only known how to empty all those thoughts about how physically exhausted I was, how much pain my lower body was experiencing, how my work was not getting done, how I was probably going to catch the H1N1 from one those sickly kids, or how badly I needed to go to the bathroom--if all those things hadn't been racing around in my mind, I probably could have really enjoyed that experience. Yea, and monkeys could have flown . . .

I think this emptying skill is going to take a great deal of practice on my part!

Too tired to tango

I really was going to write something everyday--but that was before school started again. This week I have been on my feet almost the entire day for the past three days watching kids take their state exams for the second time. I am too exhausted to think. I wish I had a quiet weekend ahead, but instead it is pretty full. It's all stuff I want to do, but I'm just sure I would be able to enjoy everything more if I weren't so tired. Maybe the meditation planned for Sunday morning will bring it all into perspective for me. For now, I'll just go to sleep.

Blocks, fears or excuses? That is the question. . .

In case you were wondering, writing is not easy. At times it is even painful. So, why continue? It's not like I'm getting paid to do this. I could retire from it at any time. I guess I think, or at least I hope, I am learning something. What I fear is that so far I have not learned much beyond that writing is difficult and can be painful. I hope, however, that if I can just keep it up long enough, I will have a writing epiphany. Wow, I long for that epiphany like Jack Kerouac longed for the road. (That one's for the book club.) And while I want to retire from work, I don't want to retire from learning. Quite the opposite--I want to retire from work so I can learn about the other things that interest me. So, as long as I think there is still a possibility of greater insight into either retirement or writing, I'll keep reaching for them.

And this isn't what I had planned to write about tonight!