A different angle

So here I have been going along, breezing through this retirement gig, feeling like life is just going to be one big bowl of cherries, when all of a sudden I am slammed into reality today! I felt like Giselle in the movie Enchanted when she first experienced anger. What a surprise. I realize now that what upset me today really was not a big deal, and that I made it a big deal and stressed myself out about it. But the sad part was realizing that retirement life is not always going to be enchanting. I guess I am still in the real world. I'm just approaching it from a different angle.

The mornings I've dreamed about

Today was the perfect post-retirement morning I have dreamed about for years. After taking Elvis for a walk, I went to a couple of exercise classes. Then I came home and watered the plants outside, picked some basil and garlic chives, fixed myself an egg using the fresh herbs, and a cup of PG Tips. When they were ready I sat down and ate my breakfast (the eggs were delicious) while reading the paper and working the crossword puzzle, Elvis snoozing nearby. No hurries no worries. It was heavenly.

Going with the flow

Another day of going with the flow . . . I'm very good at this, and I am not really concerned about becoming a total slug. I trust that I will know when it is time to disengage from this stream-of-consciousness journey and start heading in a purposeful direction. I am, after all, still in my post-retirement thinking and planning stage. This is time for a brainstorming of sorts--let the ideas come, and see which, if any stick. I don't want to close of any options by attaching myself to any particular one too soon. For instance, one possibility that occurred to me today was that maybe I should be a retirement coach. Not the kind that helps people with their finances, but more like a motivational coach. It could be fun. I could travel around and make lots of money opening future possibilities for people while making them laugh. Hmmm, let's see what ideas come to me tomorrow.

I've always liked breezeways

I feel as if I am in the breezeway between the work phase and the retirement phase of my life. It's like summer break, except that I am not weighed down by the knowledge that I am going to be going back to work in a month or so. It's a nonchalant feeling. All I have to do is stroll toward that entrance on the other side of the breezeway. Maybe it's because my friend, Carmen, planted the thought in my brain, but my complete feeling of retirement probably won't come until school goes back into session. While I am here (in the breezeway) I will continue to think, plan, rethink and replan.

The perfect party

My retirement party, Big Lebowski style, was amazing and far-out--and that's not "just [my] opinion man." We all had a great time drinking White Russians and bowling. My friends were so creative and generous in the entire effort. I can't thank them enough. All I can say is, "WOW." I love you ladies, and I love being free!

Better than tequila

Well, I have a week of retirement behind me, and I have enjoyed every minute of it. The stress is gone; the anxiety is gone; the worries are gone; but the thrill is still very strong. This overriding sense of freedom and adventure is intoxicating. It's an amazing feeling. Maybe it is arrogant of me, but I truly do feel sorry for people who are not able to embrace their retirement in this way.

I haven't done anything in particular--I've purposely not. Instead I chose, except for keeping doctor's appointments, to make stream-of-consciousness rule my actions. (I always enjoyed it in literature, so why not try it in my life.) It worked beautifully, and seemed so appropriate for my first week of freedom.

Tomorrow my friends have arranged a Big Lebowski retirement party at a bowling alley for me. I can't wait to drink my first White Russian!

Freedom--Day One

In most ways my first day of retirement was not much different from other summer break days, except that the underlying anxiety was non-existent. That of course, is the main thing I wanted from retirement. I've never had any fears about getting bored, partly because boredom is a concept I don't really believe in. I had a doctor's appointment this morning, and my blood pressure was perfect! I did a little jig in the doctor's office and her nurse said she hated me because she wants to be retired.

I never lacked for things to do, and as a consequence, I am very tired. We'll see how day two goes, although I am not sure weekends count. I'll have to ponder that.

I like a good book

Tomorrow is my last day at work! It's interesting--it has felt so good and now that I am so close, it seems rather surreal--like I will walk out of the school tomorrow, and it will be as ifI am walking out of the pages of a very interesting book, with no regrets, and no firm destination, just knowing that I will walk until I find the next book that draws me into its pages.