Cosmic balance

Yesterday I learned that there is a cosmic balance to the retirement universe. I realized this when I was told that my good friend, Kim, who had retired several years ago, accepted a job a few weeks after I retired. I figure it is like my friend, Becky's, theory that there is only so much fat in the world, and if someone around you is losing weight, you must be gaining it.  So, I retired, and now Kim is back at work.  Now, of course Kim had been working independently since she retired, but that is not the same as working for someone else.  I imagine, too, that having a job after you are retired is not as weighty as having a job before you are retired.  It has to be much easier to quit if you just can't take the BS.  You might even be able to sail right over the BS with a grin.  But, I am a little concerned about this cosmic balance for the near future, as my friend Renee will be retiring in a few weeks.  In no way am I ready to go back to work!

Boycott schedules

The cosmos has been weird this past week.  OK, so I'm sure it is just me that has been weird, but I haven't felt very retired for several days now.  I think it is because I have felt too scheduled, and I don't want to be scheduled!  That's part of why I retired--so I could be more spontaneous.  I'm going to try cutting the workout schedule for a while. I'll just take it a day at a time.  I'll just do whatever exercise I want to do.  The important thing is to exercise.  I also feel like I am just running errands all the time.  Where did they all come from?  How did I ever get anything done when I was working.  I suppose that is the point--most of them didn't get done.  But, I need to get over this feeling that I have to do them all right away.  The reality is that most of them, maybe none of them, need to get done any time too soon.  I keep waiting for the "normal" retirement to happen, but maybe this is the normal.

Optimizing options

One of my favorite Tom Robbins quotes is from Even Cowgirls Get the Blues:  "It is questionable, for that matter, whether success is an adequate response to life.  Success can eliminate as many options as failure."  That is how work, my career, felt for me.  So much of my time, and most of my energy, went into my job that I didn't have enough of either left over to explore all the other things that I was interested in doing or learning about.  I felt like I was constantly shuffling my "outside of work" time trying to fit in as many of my interests as possible.  But, I never felt like I had time to get very deep into anything. Maybe I will always feel that way, but at least now I have the opportunity to find out.  I realize that I am still not going to be able to do everything--even in retirement I won't have that much time, so I think I need to explore for a while until I settle upon a direction.  Then once I have headed in a certain direction, I need to stay open to changing course if I want to, and I don't need to feel guilty if I do.

A different angle

So here I have been going along, breezing through this retirement gig, feeling like life is just going to be one big bowl of cherries, when all of a sudden I am slammed into reality today! I felt like Giselle in the movie Enchanted when she first experienced anger. What a surprise. I realize now that what upset me today really was not a big deal, and that I made it a big deal and stressed myself out about it. But the sad part was realizing that retirement life is not always going to be enchanting. I guess I am still in the real world. I'm just approaching it from a different angle.

The mornings I've dreamed about

Today was the perfect post-retirement morning I have dreamed about for years. After taking Elvis for a walk, I went to a couple of exercise classes. Then I came home and watered the plants outside, picked some basil and garlic chives, fixed myself an egg using the fresh herbs, and a cup of PG Tips. When they were ready I sat down and ate my breakfast (the eggs were delicious) while reading the paper and working the crossword puzzle, Elvis snoozing nearby. No hurries no worries. It was heavenly.

Going with the flow

Another day of going with the flow . . . I'm very good at this, and I am not really concerned about becoming a total slug. I trust that I will know when it is time to disengage from this stream-of-consciousness journey and start heading in a purposeful direction. I am, after all, still in my post-retirement thinking and planning stage. This is time for a brainstorming of sorts--let the ideas come, and see which, if any stick. I don't want to close of any options by attaching myself to any particular one too soon. For instance, one possibility that occurred to me today was that maybe I should be a retirement coach. Not the kind that helps people with their finances, but more like a motivational coach. It could be fun. I could travel around and make lots of money opening future possibilities for people while making them laugh. Hmmm, let's see what ideas come to me tomorrow.

I've always liked breezeways

I feel as if I am in the breezeway between the work phase and the retirement phase of my life. It's like summer break, except that I am not weighed down by the knowledge that I am going to be going back to work in a month or so. It's a nonchalant feeling. All I have to do is stroll toward that entrance on the other side of the breezeway. Maybe it's because my friend, Carmen, planted the thought in my brain, but my complete feeling of retirement probably won't come until school goes back into session. While I am here (in the breezeway) I will continue to think, plan, rethink and replan.